Body Love: G is for G-Spot
The g-spot seems to be this mythical place that some claim exists, but that most scientific research has not found any conclusive evidence about. The female orgasm and the female anatomy had not been the center of any medical research for many hundreds of years so it makes sense that so far, not much is understood about sexual pleasure in women. Most of what is known about the g-spot and vaginal orgasms, is based on subjective and anecdotal stories. And this is what this post is about: my own experiences.
Most women can’t experience vaginal orgasms, or squirt. And while it is fun to try and find out if you are one of the women who can have that sort of fun, there shouldn’t be any pressure put on you. If you can’t experience vaginal orgasms, then that is okay. That is actually what is considered normal and it is not nothing that makes you a less interesting sexual partner. Everyone’s body is different, and no body is wrong. And just because you can’t come from a certain sexual activity, doesn’t mean that it can’t be pleasurable for you and your partner.
I never even thought about if I had a g-spot or not. I found sex with my husband at the time pleasurable enough. Sex just didn’t play a big role in our relationship and I was fine with it. At that point, I hadn’t had a lot of consensual sex in my life, and I was at peace with that. But then things changed. I can’t really put a finger on what exactly happened. My guess is that a hypomanic bipolar episode spiked my libido. And boy did I get horny.
But I was stuck in a sexless marriage. So I turned to porn and masturbation. I had a lot of fun, but started to wonder why some of the women found penetration, especially with a toy, exciting. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed penetration, but it was definitely not the most exciting thing about sex. So I decided to try out what all the buzz was about (oh wow, pun time). I lied down on my back, copied what the woman in the movie was doing and I discovered a sensation I hadn’t known before. A tingle inside my vagina not much dissimilar to what it feels like when my clit craves to be touched more.
I was 33 or 34 years old when that happened. Before that age, I never pushed a dildo inside my cunt. I just didn’t have the need to do so. I had used vibrators, yes, but I had never fucked myself. And here I was, on my back, suddenly discovering a totally different level of sexual pleasure. So I rubbed that certain spot faster and faster, and eventually, I had my first vaginal orgasm. It really took me by surprise!
So then I started experimenting, and realized that I could get off vaginally just as quickly as I could do it clitorally. But it was still different, there was a different pressure somehow. Things in my life evolved, and I got divorced from my husband, and ended up in a polyamorous relationship. I had a lot of sex, and with time, I discovered that not only could I come vaginally, I could also squirt. That was discovered by accident, but ever since then, I have a really hard time to not squirt when being penetrated roughly, especially when being fisted. I don’t mind, really, it is just a bit of a hassle with the clean-up.
The odd thing is that coming during PIV sex is still not always happening for me, at least not vaginally. After some research, it seems to have to do with angles. And that makes sense, because you need constant rubbing of the same spot. For that to happen during PIV, a lot of things need to come together. The right angle: for me that is doggy style or when my feet are resting on my partner’s shoulders and my butt is up in the air. And then there needs to be constant movement for a longer while. The issue here is that most men would probably have come by the time I am close to getting off vaginally. It has happened though. I have come vaginally during PIV sex. But it doesn’t happen every time. And that is okay too.
For me, the g-spot is not a myth. I have a g-spot. And while I can’t tell you where exactly it is, I know what helps me get off vaginally. There are a lot of things I don’t like about my body, and a lot of times it has to do with that I believe those things about my body are abnormal. It is not the norm that women can have vaginal orgasms. And I am very grateful that I have this ability. Being normal isn’t always what brings you the most pleasure.
I am doing the A to Z challenge during the month of April. My theme is Body Love. So you will get 26 posts from me, following the alphabet, related to the topic body love. You can check out more about the to A to Z challenge by clicking on the banner. You can find a list of sexbloggers participating in the challenge on Mrs Fever’s site.