Fucking damn it. I’m frustrated with that I ended up being so appalled by my own body again. I had been trying so hard the last few years: to accept, to conquer and to embrace. I was never at a place where I absolutely loved my body. But I was okay with it. But things have gone downhill again. I know why. Depression definitely plays a role here. I haven’t had proper sex in weeks, and not a lot of play either. I am at a place again where I can’t look at myself in the mirror without almost gagging at what I see. I masturbate under the covers so I don’t need to see myself naked. Fucking damn it. So I took this picture to challenge myself, to start accepting my body again. I don’t know if it is going to make any difference for my feelings in the long run. But for now, I am okay with this picture of my naked body.