Hello and welcome to my website! I am DeviantSuccubus, a woman in her late 30s, currently located on the Canadian west coast. I come from a diverse background. I am born and raised in Northern Germany, and I am the eldest of three to a German mother and an Iranian father. After finishing highschool and some years at university (studies to become a teacher), I moved to Sweden. I stayed in the country for twelve years, got married and built up a life, studying and working towards a professional career in academia with a focus on literary studies, the history of ideas and philosophy.
Unfortunately, life turned out to to go into a different direction for me. My mental health deteriorated and I had to put my academic career on ice, leaving university with a few degrees. Instead I focused on volunteer work in the mental health sector. I became a community leader on one of the biggest websites for emotional support: teaching other’s the skill of active listening, supporting thousands of people struggling with mental illness, leading and writing support sessions, guides and leading dozens of projects. The volunteer work not only helped me develop excellent leadership skills but also left me humbled for the emotional pain that millions of people have to go through every day. I am a trained active listener, well-educated and knowledgeable in topics around mental health, a teacher of mentors and a fierce community leader.
After four years, leaving that workspace behind was difficult for me. I enjoyed the fast pace, working towards goals and helping people. But my own life had to become a priority. I got divorced and more health struggles and a worry for financial survival took over my mindspace. After a few passionate but unhealthy relationships, I eventually got together with my current partner, Master S. We were in a long distance relationship for a bit over a year, and I have now been with him in Canada since the end of 2018, actively working towards a more long-term solution of residency.
It is important for me to talk about my mental and physical health, not only because I want to spread awareness, but also because it helps me personally to accept and work on my struggles. I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety. My mental health has a huge effect on who I am, and how I can live my life. But it is definitely not all that I am! Additionally, I have Hashimoto’s, PCOS, Diabetes, chronic pain and neurological issues caused by medication. Basically, my mental health issues make me unable to sleep, my physical health issues make me extremely exhausted. I am more of a zombie than a human being at this point, ha!
So who is DeviantSuccubus?
I am a cis-woman. I am pansexual. I am an atheist. I am a humanist. I am a vegetarian. I am goth. I am a writer. I am a music enthusiast. I am sapiosexual. I am anti-racist. I am leftist. I am creative. I am an animal lover. I am an indoorsy person. I can speak German, English and Swedish fluently and can also converse in Norwegian, French and Russian. I watch too much Netflix. I am a snailmailer. I have not been to a hairdresser in over 15 years. I am a lot of things.
BDSM, D/s, Kink, and Sex
I have been quite involved in the goth scene for over 20 years, and a lot of BDSM and goth elements overlap, might it be in aesthetics, a freedom in sexuality or even in music. I had just never been able to explore the more kinky side of me, being in monogamous relationships with vanilla sex and an inability to communicate what I’d prefer in the bedroom or even outside of it. That changed in 2017, and rapidly, too.
I have discovered a lot about myself, and sexually and relationship-wise I am in a really good place now. I am a submissive, brat, babygirl, degradee and masochist to Master S. We are polyamorous but not actively looking for anyone else at the moment. We have discovered much of BDSM and D/s together, and are still trying out new exciting things all the time.
Sex had never played a huge part in my life up until I discovered the kink community. Now, sex is not only an integral part of my relationship, but of my life in general. I have a lot of kinks, I am not afraid of trying out new things, and I very much am in love with my small but growing collection of sex toys!
Writing and this Blog
I have always loved writing and have had a love for language for as long as I can remember. Words are my deal! With English not being my mothertongue, it took me a while to build up the courage to express myself in the English language. I have won poetry and short story competitions as a teen. I have also had essays and poetry published in the last 10 years. After having to leave my volunteer job in May 2018, I had a difficult time finding something that would occupy my free time and give my life some more meaning. So I returned to writing. I have a mental health advocacy blog that I put a lot of effort in but the writing just didn’t flow as much there, it felt more like writing academic papers than some creative or passionate energy pushing me towards nights spent typing away on a keyboard.
But it seems that I have now found my new passion, where I can combine my new-found love for BDSM, Kink, sex and D/s dynamics with my creativity and my mental health advocacy. On this blog I write about kink, about BDSM, about my own experiences, about mental health and sex/relationships, about sex in general, about fetishes, about dominance and submission. I am also sharing some erotic fiction that I am writing. This blog is me, in many different ways. You will hear and read my voice. I want to educate, but more than that, I want to express myself.
Want to work with me?
I am a freelance writer so if you want me to write something for you, or you feel that my input could be valuable, contact me! I am also interested in writing toy reviews, guest blogging and advertising on my website. The contact form on my website works well, but it is also okay to message me on social media. And no, I do not do porn and I do not sell pictures or adult content videos of myself. Find me on Fetlife, if you want to.