30 Days of Submission – Day 25: Objects and Rituals

Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

I am not a very materialistic person. I don’t put meaning into objects. They don’t hold any kind of nostalgic or emotional meaning for me. I guess that leads to the conclusion that I most likely will never be a hoarder, so that is a positive! It is quite possibly related to coming from a background where I wasn’t allowed a lot of materialistic possessions and where asking for something like a toy or clothes always meant having to give something back, there was always a not so fun catch. So I learnt to avoid asking for things.

I started working when I was 14 years old and realized the value of money, which in turn meant that I’d rather not spend it. That makes me quite a good catch I don’t ask for materialistic things. I am okay with getting them though, even very grateful. But I am never going to be the person that is wooed by big diamond rings or fancy shoes.

As a matter of fact, when I got married, I didn’t even want a wedding ring. So I never had one. I felt it was silly to spend the little money we had on something like jewelry. There were bills to pay, we needed food. I never had a wedding either, so no weddingdress for me, no expensive cake or open bar.

The concept of a thing holding emotional value is confusing to me. I know that others put a lot of value into objects though, and I respect that. In a D/s context they might want to wear a collar, for example. I love collars, they are pretty! I own a few of them that I have gotten over the years because they fit the goth-style quite well! But do I put any emotional value into them? No.

I can see how a collar would work pretty similar to a wedding ring. Through wearing a certain item, through that gesture, you are pledging either loyalty or obedience. It is not just words, it is a sort of action, too. But it also feels impersonal, because everyone is doing the same thing. Slaves in D/s relationships wear a collar. Married couples wear rings. It would interest me more if it were something a bit out of the ordinary, like a tattoo (my ex-husband and I totally considered getting rings tattooed for a while after we had married).

I think that is where rituals come in. They are not materialistic but they can reinforce a feeling and a commitment. I can see how that could be helpful, especially in a D/s context. Might it be that you kneel down before play, that you present yourself before sex, that you don’t start eating before the dominant eats or that you are not allowed to wear underwear on a certain day. The possibilities for rituals are aplenty and I am sure everyone can find something that works for them.

I have been thinking about rituals a lot lately. I personally find them to be limiting at times. But some also seem loving and caring. A dominant putting the collar on a submissive every night, for instance. Inspections of someone’s body on certain days of the week. I am wondering if there isn’t something related to rituals in words as well. And you know, words are more of a thing that reach me and have importance to me.

Uttering a “Yes, Master”, or “My body belongs to you, Master”, that is powerful! And that is a sort of ritual I can subscribe to because it makes me feel more submissive. It also makes me able to express my submission. I would not utter those words, unless I am in a submissive space. So while objects and thought-through rituals are not my favoured way to express my submission at this point, adressing my partner as “Master” and saying things that have a submissive meaning, are my way of expressing my submission.

I am doing the 30 Days of Submission meme/challenge. If you are interested in doing it too, check out this link which has all the questions ready to be used!

You can check my other posts of the series here.