30 Days of Submission – Day 24: Feelings
What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
My ability to slide into a submissive space is closely related to experiencing the right feelings in that moment. I don’t envy those that are always able to be submissive because it takes critical thinking and self-care out of the equation. If you have a good Dom, then they would definitely take those things into consideration, but they can’t always read their submissive partner correctly. So sometimes that might actually lead to situations where it doesn’t “feel right” but the submissive still automatically submits. If that works for you, I am not shaming you! I am happy that your ability to always submit makes you happy and enhances the quality of your relationship! But it would never work for me.
It is not too difficult for me to slide into a submissive space with someone that I trust, but it is definitely not something that I can do always and at any time. In my core, I am a submissive. But my submissive side is not all that I am. I am not submissive with everyone, or in all contexts. And even if I am prone to show my submission with a certain person, it still needs to feel right in the moment and context. When I am having a bad day and I am being asked to do something, I might just be snappy instead of blindly obeying my Master’s commands. So I need to be persuaded to actually be a good submissive in those moments.
I know it might frustrate the Doms I play with or am in relationship with, but my emotional and physical safety is important to me, and my brain just protects me automatically. When I am not doing well, and it doesn’t feel right, submission is not the first thing on my mind.
Submission is linked to a feeling of safety for me. I need to feel safe and I need to trust the person I am to submit to. That means that the person I am with has to be trustworthy. Deeming someone trustworthy is a huge and difficult process for me and not something I just do lightly. The feeling of safety is one part of the foundation that makes me tap into my submission. But there is more! I also need to feel that the other person is my superior, at least in the moment. So that means: I need to feel inferior, which consequently leads to a higher level of respect for the dominant. Additionally, I need to be scared, just a little. I need to fear the consequences of a lack of submission. That is just that tiny bit of motivation that will make me submit.
The feeling of safety, feeling that someone is trustworthy, feeling inferior, and feeling a little bit scared: those are all things that a dominant can make me feel. If I am a good fit with someone, they will make feel exactly a right combinations of those emotions. My submission is theirs! I also need to feel well in general though. There are a few things that make it more difficult for me to submit: anxiety, stress, flashbacks or a physical uneasiness. I struggle with most of those on a daily basis but it is really about the intensity of the emotions that the dominant can trigger in me. They might just be able to override what I am struggling with and help me focus on what they want to do with me!
Once the emotional setting is right, and I have submitted, other feelings are taking over. I feel floaty, free, safe and taken care of. I can feel euphoric or calm, frightened but enticed. Feelings of ecstasy are combined with a feeling of total serenity. Being in a submissive space can evoke so much in me. The deeper I go into subspace the more the feeling of floatiness and absolute freedom takes over.
I am doing the 30 Days of Submission meme/challenge. If you are interested in doing it too, check out this link which has all the questions ready to be used!