Taboo Kinks – When You Get Shamed For What Turns You On

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The specific definition of the word taboo is very subjective and hence is often based on judgment and societal pressure. That means that it is contextual: it depends on where you have grown up, what the laws in your country look like, what the unspoken rules in your society are, and specifically what things you find abhorrent. Different societies have different laws, different cultures have different unspoken rules. A taboo can be anything. In muslim countries it might be for a woman to show her uncovered hair, in Japan to shave off your pubes or in a Western society publically showing female nipples. So what are taboo kinks then? In my opinion they are practices that someone personally judges as something that they would find abhorrent in a sexual context. It is your personal opinion based on feelings.

What is a taboo?

I think a taboo should never be prescriptive. Just because your background and emotions make you uncomfortable with a certain activity, doesn’t mean that that specific activity should be a taboo for others. There is a difference between hard limits and a taboo. Hard limits are something that you would never do sexually. It is about your personal preferences. A taboo, on the other hand, is something so different, so unthinkable, that people presume that everyone feels the same about them. A taboo is something unspoken, something to be pushed out of view. And if someone has the audacity to loud and maybe even proud talk about how they enjoy and practice it, it very much fries people’s brains.

For me personally, there are no taboo kinks. Why is that? Because we don’t choose what turns us on. I might not like what you like. But it is not my place to tell you how I feel about it, or to tell you it is wrong to practice that particular kink. The one thing that is important for me, and that I would never waver on, is that whatever is happening is consensual. And if it is not possible to get consent if you want to sexually engage with another person, then maybe those kinks are better to be kept as fantasies.

Taboo Kinks?

Some kinks are generally pushed into the taboo category by many people because it can be difficult for some to wrap their head around the idea that anyone would find that kind of sexual activity arousing. I am thinking scat play, for instance, or blood play. While a lot of people feel those are taboo kinks, they are actually enjoyable for many members of the kink community. And that is okay! I don’t care if you like cutting your partner and licking their blood, I don’t care if you poop on your partner and smear shit around. Is there consent? Then go for it!

I even encourage you to talk about it, so others with that kink don’t feel as alone with their needs! I appreciate that those two kinks need to be safely practiced to avoid infections and I wonder if that is a reason why many find them abhorrent too. Maybe some instinct that most of us have to avoid illness and infections?

Kinks and urges that break the law or hurt others

Then there are some kinks or fetishes that are against the law in most countries. Pedophilia is the first that comes to mind here. Snuff and cannibalism. Incest. Rape. I can understand why a lot of people are very uncomfortable even discussing those as kinks. But no one chooses to be aroused by those things. It happens to them. Most of them wish they didn’t have those urges and needs. There are some things that can’t become a reality because they would hurt another person in irreparable ways or consent is impossible.

Still, I would never shame anyone who has any of those kinks. As a matter of fact, I have emotionally supported those that have needs that would break the law or hurt another person without consent. Because you know what? We do not choose what we are aroused by. Instead of shaming those who have kinks like that, it might be a way better approach to help them find ways to control the urges so they don’t follow them. And come up with ways to have their needs met without anyone getting hurt. I know my opinion on this might be unpopular but someone with a kink like pedophilia, incest or cannibalism, knows how morally unacceptable their urges are.

Can you imagine being in a battle with your own sexuality and needs all your life because you can’t control what arouses you? And yes, I agree with that those who hurt others need to be punished by the law. But not everyone having those kinks actually follows those urges and shaming them for having thoughts they can’t control, makes it harder for them to reach out for help, and might make it more likely for them to follow their needs. We could save potential victims by actually talking about how to get help! We need to talk about safety here, not about making it impossible for people to get help.

Do I have any taboo kinks? – Consensual non-consent and ageplay

Do i have any kinks that are generally seen as taboo kinks? Oh boy do I! Consensual non-consent is definitely one! I love the idea of rape play because it pushes me into a place where I am nothing else but an object of desire or a tool for someone’s needs to be met. It is arousing for me to be violently fucked without me having a say in it. It really isn’t that far off from rough play in BDSM dynamics, really. The important thing about consensual non-consent is that nothing is happening against my will. The rules are clear, the limits are set. And it gets me off! In my D/s relationship, rape play has never happened in the way you might see it in porn. No one has kidnapped me, no one has invited their buddies to play with me.

Instead, I have made it clear that my body is okay to be used. That can mean that without warning, I am suddenly being fingered. Or my boobs are being pulled out of my dress and slapped. It can mean being pushed onto my back and my Master’s cock enters me, without foreplay. It can also mean that I am being pushed onto my belly, fucked from behind, hair being pulled and being called a filthy whore. The interesting thing is that within seconds I am aroused. By the feeling that I am nothing else but an object. That I am just a body to be played with and fucked. and my needs don’t matter in that moment.

Ageplay is another kink of mine that a a lot of people would define as a taboo kink. I think it has to do with the faulty link that people see between the Daddy Dom or Mommy Domme and little connection, and incest. There is a lot of stigma there: that those who are littles (or middles) have daddy or mommy issues. That it is sick to call your partner daddy or mommy. What they ignore is that it is about two consenting adults.

This is not pedophilia nor incest. It is not roleplaying those things either. It is about the need for a caretaker and someone who sets limits, and the need to take care of someone who adores you. And even if it were about some unresolved childhood issues, how is that anyone else’s business? I am often flabbergasted when I see people in the kink community shame those that are into ageplay and are in DD/lg connections.

Am I saying that everyone needs to accept all kinks? Nope. I am saying: be respectful! As long as something happens with consent, let people enjoy their sexuality and kinks! And by reading other people’s accounts of their experiences, you might even find a thing or two that you never thought would arouse you but that now intrigues you!


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8 Responses

  1. Sweetgirl says:

    Great post DS ?

  2. NoraJean says:

    … well said! … nj

  3. jupitergrant says:

    Excellent article, and I really liked your take on illegal taboo and the idea of finding ways to control or find safe ways to satisfy those urges in people who have them.

  1. October 3, 2019

    […] I think of them, the person who engages in them needs to enjoy them not me. I don’t even mind taboo kinks, heck, I participate in quite a few of them, like breath play or […]

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