Flogging – Pain and Relaxation

Flogging is one of the most commonly practiced BDSM kinks. If you ever attend a play party, you will definitely get to see a lot of flogging action. And I can understand why it is such a popular way to engage in pain play. It is generally safe, it doesn’t hurt too much and it aesthetically pleasing. Watching the tails dance on the skin, smelling the leather and hearing the sounds can be quite a turn on for many people.

I wouldn’t necessarily choose flogging as one of the primary pain play activities for me. While I adore the look of a flogger and I love seeing it at play parties, it doesn’t really get me going. I am more into hands on approaches: slapping, pulling, twisting, squeezing and punching. And I find that the intimacy lacks when someone is using tools like floggers, whips or crops on me.

I need to feel someone’s hands on my skin, I need to hear them breathe and closely watch the reactions on their face. As a masochist, seeing the sadistic fire burning in my play partner’s eyes is just as much a turn on as the actual pain. And him standing further away from me, or even having my back turned against him, takes that away from me. Just as much as I love seeing his facial expressions, I like noticing that he stops breathing when he watches my reactions to the pain.

But all that doesn’t mean that we don’t sometimes use a flogger. When we started dating, we were embarking on a journey of BDSM and kink together. And that entailed trying out a lot of different things to find out what we both enjoy doing. And because flogging is so common in BDSM circles, we bought a flogger. I had my reservations because I am vegan. And that means that apart from not eating any animal products, I also don’t wear them or use them. But it is absolutely impossible to buy a vegan flogger, so we had to go for a leather one. And I must admit that I love the purple and black combination. It looks pretty!

We still use the flogger sometimes. And it can hurt when the tails hit the wrong places. A stray tail landing on my inner thighs, my cunt or even a nipple definitely can make me squeal! When we went to play parties, we always brought the flogger with us. We would fit in, but that wasn’t really the reason. There isn’t much you can do wrong with a flogger if you know how to use it. So it was safe and I didn’t have to float in subspace to be able to take the pain. I have always had issues with relaxing in public, so relaxing at a play party is pretty much impossible for me. I can’t slide into subspace when I would be able to take more pain. So the flogger had always been my favourite toy to use at play parties because it doesn’t hurt too much.

At home, when we are alone, we barely use a flogger these days. We used to have it handy to ease us into the right mindspaces. And every now and then, my Master still uses it to punish me (it might come as a surprise, but this brat needs to be punished sometimes haha). But for punishment he deliberately chooses to hurt me in places which he knows really hurt when hit by the tails of a flogger. So I am often being flogged on the front of the body for punishment. It is not really enjoyable for me. It hurts a lot when the tails land on my nipples or my cunt. So I guess it works as a punishment!

I do enjoy being flogged on my butt and my back though. But that is not for arousal and it isn’t necessarily sexual for me. It is actually relaxing! I know that that might seem odd, but flogging can be a great way to get rid of anxiety and stress. It is sort of like when the Finns beat each other on the backs with tree branches when in the sauna, isn’t it? It keeps the blood flowing, and it refocuses the mind. Don’t get me wrong, it is still a bit painful, but in a very nice and calming way. The sound of the tails flying through the air, the short stinging pain, the tickling sensation when the tails dance over my skin.

So these days I probably prefer a proper flogging of my naked back and butt while lying on my stomach on my bed, to a really painful flogging where the more delicate places are being hit. If I want pain play, I rather sign up for the hands on approach. I want to feel close to my partner and it feels more intimate. But I also know that other people use flogging as a way to ease into play and to put everyone into the right mindspace. And as always, all ways are valid as long as they are practiced safely and consensually.

Read another post I wrote on flogging