This Is Not A Game

He rarely does that. Control my orgasms. There is a certain pleasure in seeing your partner twitch in ecstasy, watching them lose control over their body and mind, and knowing that you have caused them to feel that way. Unless you are after another sort of pleasure: the sadistic pleasure in watching your submissive writhe and squirm in need for relief. You observe their frustrated moans, the way they try to guide you towards their orgasm. And you smile. And you laugh. And your bathe in their pain, a pain that you have caused, caused by the control you have over their sexual pleasure.

But he rarely does that. He enjoys my ability to come dozens of times during play too much. And I am not complaining. I very much enjoy orgasms. So when he does it, it becomes almost unbearably frustrating. When you are used to getting what you want, and then it gets taken away from you, you miss it. A lot. You are confused and you want things to go back the way they are. But he is control. I am not. So he decides if the tides are turning and the new normal is denial.

It almost feels like it is on a whim. He fucks me, thrusting in and out. I can feel his hard cock inside me, his hands squeezing my breasts so hard, I hold my breath. My mind is floating and I want to come. I arch my back, and I push myself harder against him. I want to feel him deeper. My eyes are closed and I focus on the orgasm that I can sense coming.

“No. You are not allowed to come. Your pleasure is my pleasure. You are just a fuckhole. Your orgasms don’t matter”.

I freeze. What the actual fuck? Well, okay, let’s play the submissive game and be a good girl. Good girls get to come. And it arouses me more, when he is showing me how much in control he is. My body and mind react instantly. Maybe it isn’t a game, maybe I am his submissive after all.

I don’t move anymore. I don’t want to torture myself, I take his cock and I wait. I wait for the good girl, the reward. I focus on not coming. My whole being is tense and trying to soothe my physical reactions. I can hear how wet I am. I can hear him moan. “You are nothing but a hole to fuck.”

I can feel him get harder inside me, I know he is close. I arch my back again, I know that when he comes, he will let me come too. He always does. He needs to. I can barely hold it in anymore. I need to come. He pulls out his cock and spreads his hot juices all over my body. I don’t move. I am waiting. I need to come. I have been a good girl.

“Good girl!”, he says and gets up. I writhe.

Later that night, I lie next to him in bed. His hands find their way in between my spread legs. I am excited. I have shown him that I can hold it in, that he controls me. I am ready for my reward. Three fingers inside me, wiggling, tickling my g-spot. I am waiting, waiting for his: “You can come now”.

His other hand rubs my clit, flicks it, pulls it. Rubs it harder and harder. I focus so hard not to come. I can hear myself scream. Like a wounded animal in pain. I need to come. I beg him. “Master, can I please come?”. But all I get in return is silence. The need becomes utter frustration. I try to get away. I wiggle. I try to crawl away. But he continues to torture my clit, to torture my cunt. I can feel tears running down my face. My mind is wet now too.

The next day he comes home during his lunch break. I am on my knees, my ass is up in the air. And he fucks me. Deep, fast, thrusting. He holds on to my hips. I am just a hole to fuck. A hole. A hole. I focus on pleasing him. But I can feel my cunt twitch, I need to come so bad, I have no control over my body anymore. And he stops his movements. “No, puppet, no coming!”. And he does it again. Fucks me, feels me getting close, stops. Minutes later my ass is covered in his cum. My face is to the side and pressed into the sheets. His hand grasping my hair. “Good girl”. I am nothing but a hole a to fuck.

I am needy. Oh so needy. Whenever he is around, I observe him. I try to make him see me, I kneel in front of him on the bed. I beg with my eyes. I need him. I need him to make me come. Only he can do it. I know if I masturbated, I wouldn’t get off. I know that he holds the key to my pleasure. I guess this is not a game. I am his submissive.

“Oh you needy bitch.”

I flinch. I am easy. Two days of orgasm denial and a little bit of edging and my true colours shine through. All I want is sex. All I need is sex. I am so needy.

His hands are on my body. Finally. They wander fast, inside my knickers. He spreads my lips, and pushes two fingers inside me. No foreplay needed. The last two days were foreplay. I don’t move. I am so horny, but I don’t dare to move. I don’t know if I am allowed to come. I don’t know what he has planned. I observe, I wait, I anticipate. I am his needy bitch. And my body and mind do as they are told by him.

He circles my clit and then flicks it. He holds it in between two fingers and squeezes. I hold my breath. I can feel my heart beat. It hurts, but it hurts so good. Any pain is pleasure now. I need to come. I need to fucking come. He rubs it, faster, hard. He is kneeling next to me. He slaps my cunt and I can hear how wet I am as his bare hand lands on my flesh. He looks at me, observes my reactions. He rubs, and rubs. I can’t do this anymore. I fucking can’t. I writhe and squirm.

“You can come now, puppet.”

And I come, hard, long, my body in ecstasy. I take in every sensation, drink it, breathe it. I don’t know when I will be allowed to feel this again so I want to savour it.

But he doesn’t stop. He continues to rub my clit. It becomes really uncomfortable. I try to sit up, to signal that I am done and that this is not pleasurable anymore. But he pushes me back onto the bed. Fuck, He gets me close to the point where I just want to run. I don’t want anything to ever touch my clit again. I scream. I cry. I kick. I need it to stop.

But he doesn’t stop. I can feel my mind floating and it almost feels like my body is floating too. I relax. The sensations feel different now. Four fingers inside me, his other hand torturing my clit. I moan.

“Good puppet.”

And I come. And I come. And I cry. And I come.

Denial. Edging. Denial. Edging. Denial. Forced orgasms. And I enjoy it. This is not a game. I am his submissive.

More of my personal sex experiences