Spankies! – Spanking in BDSM Play
Impact play is an integral part of Masters S’ and my relationship. Ever since I realized that I could let go with him, my masochistic side has been having a field trip. I knew I liked control, and liked to be submissive, and masturbation has always somehow involved some kind of painplay for myself. So I knew that I enjoy pain in a sexual way, but I had never really experienced it with another person and I didn’t know what kind of pain I would appreciate, and what kind of pain would be a limit for me. Now, after a couple of years of exploring that side of me, I can say that there almost are no limits for me, other than the intensity of it. While I enjoy all kinds of pain in a sexual context, impact play is definitely my favourite: slapping, punching, whipping, flogging, paddling. Although all parts of my body are very much receptive to impact play, my butt always welcomes a good spanking, especially when we engage in BDSM play.
I know that in a lot of D/s relationships, spanking is used as a punishment when the submissive has been disobedient and hasn’t been following the rules. We have tried that a few times, but the issue is that I enjoy it too much. So if I get a spanking because I have not been obedient, or I have been disrespectful, I am actually getting aroused! Once I realized that, the brat in me consciously tried to poke my Master because I knew I’d get that spanking. So yeah, we need to find other ways that will show me the consequences of bad behaviour, because I am too much of a masochist. I feel like that is both frustrating and hilarious.
So, consequently, in play, I often tease to get spanked. We are not really in a dynamics where we plan sessions or negotiate much before starting to play. We have the basic rules for play down and we both know where the limits are. If we ever were to try out something new, we would definitely discuss it beforehand though. But we are generally more spontaneous. We don’t have any kids in the house and we don’t have an extremely busy lifestyle, so play is possible (and happens) every day.
I have never done over the knee spanking, but I am actually quite sure that I would enjoy that, the closeness to my partner. Going down on my knees on the bed, my butt is up in the air. I love being in that position, anticipating. That is one of the wonderful things about spanking: being in a position where you really are exposed, and the Dominant is in control.
I like when the spanking starts slow, and then increases in intensity and speed. There is something about that build up that quite arouses me. The pain becomes somewhat more delicious when it slowly gets stronger. But it is not only the pain that I enjoy about spanking, it is also the waves that go through my whole body, and especially how I can feel it deep inside my vagina. In the beginning, the pain, especially when being spanked in a calm rhythm, can feel like a massage, like some meditative practice. The harder the pain gets, the more unbearable it can become. But after a while I am back in that almost trance-like state, where my breathing slows down and my whole body becomes a slave to the waves running through it. Pain becomes pleasure.
Spanking is actually the kind of impact I enjoy most when I am in babygirl space. It is fun to just wiggle my butt in the air, teasing my Master and I often end up giggling when the spanking starts. I sometimes even exclaim “ouchie!” when the pain is getting more intense. I love being that playful and when it comes to spanking, it is quite fitting.
It is actually not that easy to spank someone right, because there are certain areas where the pain is very pleasurable, while others are very painful: the closer you get to the edges of the butt, the more it hurts. Once you know that though, and you use your hands, it is not that hard to hit the right places. It becomes more difficult when you are trying to flog someone (that really needs some practice!) or you use a paddle. I must admit that we haven’t found the right paddle yet, they are either too hard, or too soft. We used a wooden paddle before but that kind of sting was too much for me take when it got more intense. A rubber paddle I own was too soft, you can’t get into high intensity with that. So I am still on the look out for the perfect paddle!
One thing that I am quite sad about is that I don’t get red, marked or bruised easily. I can be in really intense pain after a 20 minute long spanking, but my skin looks only slightly swollen. It is not one of my fetishes, to be marked or bruised, but I would love to have a picture of my red butt cheeks after a proper spanking!
Another kind of impact play that I really enjoy on my butt is punching. I know that it might sound weird to some, and maybe is too painful for others, but being punched on the butt (and the boobs, oh my, on the boobs, that puts me in subspace in seconds) is so very wonderful! The waves are much stronger than with a simple flat hand spanking, and it has happened more than once that I have been able to reach an orgasm triggered by the punches, without any touching of my actual vagina or clit! Punches might sound scary, but it is also about intensities, you can get punched lightly, or very hard, just with any other impact play!
Spanking is one of the few activities I can imagine doing with a playpartner other than Master S. I wouldn’t have to be naked for it, I wouldn’t have to look them in the eyes, it is an easy to negotiate activity and I am not too worried it would be too overwhelming for me. That is something I am definitely going to look more into in the future. Because spankies are bae!
(The butt on the pictures is mine)
I am combining 30 Days of Submission – Day 8 post and the Tell Me About writing prompt. The question for the 30 Days of Submission is: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?. If you want to read more interesting posts on spanking, click on the banner!
There was some great detail in this and I think it will be helpful to others reading who are just starting to add spanking to their dynamic. Your picture is fab by the way.
Thank you <3
What a great post. So much detail and a picture too! I have heard of butt punching and met people who have tried and prodcued orgasm. Brilliant that you have high levels of pain to explore extremes.
Thank you! Butt punching just makes the vibrations and waves going through your body so much stronger!
Yes, the craving for playful ‘chastisements’ renders them utterly useless as punishment! 😉
I also have an impact fetish that is playful rather than part of a dom/sub kink, but is something I never indulged with any one else but “Bear” (my favourite and most trusted lover). We don’t have a “full on” D/s relationship, but we do like to play at it sometimes in the bedroom, and after knowing each other for many years, we have developed the kind of trust where we can begin to explore B&D together safely.
RE: paddles, I bought a double -sided one from LoveHoney.com that ? uses on me to very enjoyable effect. One side is slightly cushioned, the other flat and hard, which means that he can change things up as the games progress 😉