Fantasy Fuck List

I am really weird when it comes to sexual fantasies. Well, not weird weird. Or maybe I am weird weird? What I mean is, that I can’t imagine having sex with someone that I know but that I don’t trust enough to actually have sex with. I have had that issue for as long as I can remember. I am now quite sure about that my lack of confidence, my dislike of my own body and my assumption that no one I know would want to have sex with me, are the cause of it. These kinds of thoughts and feelings have stopped me all my life from having sex, with anyone, really.

I am 37 years old and I have had actual intercourse with three people. And I am a sexual person, I love love love sex. But no matter how turned on I was in the presence of someone, I just couldn’t let go and do it. Instead I often pleased with blowjobs or whatever else I could do, just so no one would even think about actually touching me or trying to remove my clothes. I didn’t want anyone to see me naked, because I was too scared that they would gag, run away, laugh at me or not be interested in having sex anymore. I definitely have body image issues.

My Fantasies

And that fear even creeped into my fantasies and the possible pool of those. I couldn’t even imagine, just for myself, for anyone that I knew, to want to have sex with me. Even on my own, in my own head, the thought of someone hypothetically engaging in anything sexual with me, was too unbelievable. So my fantasies were about faceless people, about bodies, about touch. And that has not changed, unless you count my partner, who often plays a major part in my fantasies because I know that he wants me, I have proof that he does. So it is different.

There are people I know in real life that I feel attracted to, I can think of two right away. People I have met at playparties, at events, and that I find very sexually attractive. But I can’t imagine doing anything with them, because I can’t imagine that they would want to once they have seen me naked, exposed, who I really am.

Celebrity Fantasy Fuck List

I am not someone who gets attracted to anything physical when it comes to men. I am not even sure I find the male physique generally aesthetically pleasing. I get attracted to personality, intelligence, and wit. I get attracted to someone who I know is hard to get for me, maybe because I am a masochist? When it comes to women and trans* people, I am more attracted to the physique than anything. I just find their bodies generally more pleasing to the eye.

Enticing Women

So while I can’t create a list of women that I know in real life that I’d want to have sex with, I can totally do that with celebrities! So let’s take a look at my celebrity fantasy fuck list. Here are five female celebrities that I would totally bang: Winona Ryder, Gwen Stefani, Christina Ricci, Kiera Kneightley and Kat Dennings. I find them all superhot!

Men though! There are only two male celebrities that I find very sexually attractive, and they are Johnny Depp and Marilyn Manson! For some reason, I have an easier time imagining having sex with a celebrity. Why? Because I know there is not even a remote chance that that it would ever happen. I will never be in a room with Johnny Depp or Marilyn Manson, they will never touch me, I will never be naked in front of them. It is outside the realm of anything possible.

Attractive Male Celebrities

So imagining having sex with Johnny Depp or Marilyn Manson, that is like, uh, like fiction. It is so far from reality, I am not even worried about my body or how they would ridicule me, or find me unattractive. The fantasy is like in a deattached bubble from reality. I am talking vanilla sex here, normal, maybe a little bit rough, vanilla sex.

And in that bubble I have a few other male celebrities (well, not all at the same time, you know, it could get crowded!). And the reason why I am attracted to them is because they have always played intelligent narcissistic assholes in movies and TV shows, or are very strong and dominant men on stage. They are made for that kind of role. They are the ones that everyone is scared of, that are the psychopaths, the powerhungry. They are basically dominant sadists, at least in their roles.

I am not confusing who they are and who they play here. I don’t know them, so the only thing I can go on are the roles that they have played. And that is how I like my men! They are also all older, and sophisticated. So, thinking of that list, made me realize that I have a type when it comes to men! It is not a physical type, because I don’t care much about size, about length, muscles or handsomeness. I care about character, about intelligence, about personality, about maturity. I want someone who is superior to me!

So the list goes: Jack Nicholson, Anthony Hopkins and Kevin Spacey. Yes, I have a type! And I can imagine them laughing at me, or ridiculing me, or hurting me, or using me, and I want them to do it!

So that was my celebrity fantasy fuck list. As I said, my fantasies are weird.