30 Days of Submission: Day 1 – Labelling My Submission
Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
It is so very difficult to put a label on my submission, because it really depends on the situation, the scene, my partner. I definitely identify as a brat and have also chosen that label on Fetlife. When I started to engage in BDSM and D/s connections, I looked into different D/s dynamics and roles and brat just seemed most like me. I like to tease, I like to fight back a bit, I can get pouty. I want to submit, I am a sub, but I need to feel that someone is superior to me, that they can outsmart me. There is a strong need to feel it in my mind, not my body. My body is very receptive to pain and control.
But my mind won’t allow my body to give in, unless someone is actually stronger than me. I have a very strong and dominant personality. I am a natural leader, so when I let go, I need to feel that I am the weaker part, that I couldn’t just overpower them, mentally and physically. My submission needs to be earned. I give up control to someone, so of course it needs to feel safe, and good. There is nothing worse to me than a Dom just expecting me to submit after a few conversations. I laugh at the “good girl” they give me. It absolutely does nothing for me, if they are not actually superior to me.
In my current relationship, I like being addressed as “puppet”. Being a puppet means to me that I have given up total control. So my partner and I have a Master/puppet dynamics, where he has total control over my sexuality. In the bedroom, I am his puppet. We used to have a long distance relationship and practiced erotic hypnosis. I gave him control over my body and mind, and he still has that control. He can make me come on demand, he can put me into trance when he so wishes. He can play with me, pull my strings. So sexually with him, I am a puppet, and he is my Master.
Our relationship has lately evolved a little, and we have both strongly felt the need to expand the D/s connection to more of a 24/7 thing, with rules and consequences. So it would come closer to a Domestic Discipline relationship. We will see how that will turn out, I am curious!
I can also be a slut and a whore, so basically a degradee, in certain sexual situations. It really depends on the scene and who I am with. I love being a degradee, it is the space that makes me let got the most sexually. I love being just someone to be used, to be just a hole. But to slide into that role, I really need to trust the person I am with, and feel a strong connection with them, And this of course only works sexually for me, in other D/s dynamics I wouldn’t allow that.
I am also a masochist, yet another label that describes me well. I need pain to get off. Pain relaxes me, it makes me float, it makes me feel free. So in all of my D/s dynamics there was a strong Sadist/masochist vibe as well. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I could be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have sadistic tendencies. My degradee and masochist needs are very strong.
And I am also a babygirl, with the right Dom. In one of my previous relationships, that was our main dynamics, the Daddy/babygirl connection. I love the cuteness of it, the punishments, the looking up to someone. It is silly, and it is serious. I love being a babygirl because I can be a brat at the same time. In my current relationship that connection doesn’t sit well with my Dom, but he is definitely a caretaker Dom so my babygirl side gets most of her needs met.
Many labels fit me, always depending on who I am with, and what the scene is like, or if it also includes an outside the bedroom connection. But my core role is being a brat. And I am quite comfortable with that label.
I am doing the 30 Days of Submission meme/challenge. If you are interested in doing it too, check out this link which has all the questions ready to be used!
Read the other posts of my 30 Days of Submission series here.