Masochist

It is such an odd sensation when something that gives you pain still doesn’t push you into letting it go. You hate it, it hurts so much, you cry, you want to scream. You want to fight it. But you can’t. Because you want it too. You want the discomfort. You know it goes against everything. We are taught to avoid pain. But then you fall into it, you slide into it. Into this secret space where the pain suddenly calms you down. You don’t want to scream anymore, the tears are running down your face silently. Suddenly the pain feels different and you don’t fight it anymore. It doesn’t scare you now. It makes you throb and pulsate. You want more, you want to float deeper, and higher. You want to never leave this space of bliss. You are a masochist, addicted to the power of pain.

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