Plushies – From sentimental value to sexy play
I am usually not someone who is like everyone else, especially not when it comes to childhood experiences. But there is one thing that I had just like everyone else: plushies. I used to have my whole bed covered in different stuffed animal toys and I was unable to sleep if my favourite bunny wasn’t sharing my pillow with me. I still have many of my old plushies. And that bunny that I needed to fall asleep as a kid? I still rest my head on it every night. I can’t even imagine drifting into dreamland without feeling its soft nose pressing into my cheek.
One of my favourite plushies is an orange teddybear that my grandfather gave to me for my first birthday. It had to be stitched back together many times, but it has followed me everywhere I moved. It squeaks when you press its belly which I always thought was a cute feature. I don’t think it is the best plushie ever made, but it has enormous sentimental value to me because it is about all I have left of my grandfather. He was the most important person in my life when I was a child, and that teddybear reminds me of that.
Plushies and the littles in Dissociative Identity Disorder
Most people probably own plushies that have sentimental value to them. But stuffed animals actually play a huge part in my life for a whole other reason. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (read my post on the topic if you are unsure what they term means), and with that follows different alters (or parts) who all have their own identity, personalities, gender, sexuality, preferences, traumas, memories, talents and weaknesses. And different ages. And many of the 30 or so alters in my system are so called “littles”. That means that they are children.
It isn’t the same as littles in ageplay, by the way. The littles in a DID-system are people (yes, alters are people sharing the body) who are children. They don’t understand adult experiences, they don’t have the logical mindset or the emotional experiences of adult. They are stuck in their age because it is what is best for the survival of the system. And what do children love? Plushies!
Every time we go to a store that has a toy or plushie section, you can be sure of that we will end up there. If the littles could have their way, our apartment would be filled with stuffies from floor to ceiling, haha! Every now and then, we buy plushies though. They are either a reward, or one particular child alter is very much in love with a certain plushie. They all have their own soft toy that they picked and named, and it is sometimes easy to find out who you are talking to depending on which plushie they are hugging.
On the picture for this post, we are holding the raccoon Coonie. He is a favourite because he is huge and squishy. We often fall asleep hugging him because it almost feels like hugging a person due to the size of him. He belongs to a 5 year old little who is often very anxious and he is a great soothing tool for her. I’m quite sure that with time, our plushie collection will grow. But for now our bedroom has enough space taken over by stuffed animals.
Plushies and Sex – Ageplay
Before I was aware of the Dissociative Identity Disorder and the system, I was in a DD/llg relationship for about a year. I need to add that I wouldn’t engage in ageplay anymore because I am aware of that it is a very unhealthy thing to do for someone with DID. In our system and in our current relationship, we have strict rules about sex with littles. They are not allowed to front (interact with the world) when anything sexual is going on. And if they decide to break that rule, the sexual activity stops. Children are not supposed to have sex and the mere fact that some of them use sex to try to manipulate our Master, is a huge area of concern.
But I definitely don’t judge ageplay when it is happening between consenting adults. I can totally see the allure of it and it is a totally legit kink, and kind of D/s dynamic. I think the important difference here is that it is between consenting adults, while for us it would involve those who have an adult body but are actual children. And I know it is complicated, and many people might not grasp how this disorder works, and that is okay. It is not something that I want to have, or that I usually talk about a lot. But when it comes to ageplay and sex, I had to do a lot of research and learn from how others with DID handle sex, romance and the littles in a system.
Anyway, but back then, I wasn’t aware of a system, and I was in a DD/llg dynamic with a guy. I can’t tell you if it was an actual little who engaged with him sexually, or if it was me. Due to dissociation, hings tend to be blurry when it comes to my memories of emotional experiences. What I know is that he was a safe person and the sex was fantastic, and no triggers happened. And I think that is the thing I take away most from our connection.
Riding Mr. Bear
In that particular DD/llg relationship, we used plushies in a sexual context quite a lot. And I remember one experience particularly well because it was so different from anything we had ever done before. I had this huge teddybear that was almost as tall as I was (I am quite short though, 163 cm) and my Daddy made me tie a dildo to him.
Then I was to take my clothes off, lube the dildo and then ride the teddybear. He made me film what I was doing while he was watching. I still have the video somewhere. It was certainly a hot and interesting experience! I found it sort of degrading but it also played into the play part of being a girl, wanting to please her Daddy and sexualizing cute things that are usually not sexualized. I did throw the teddybear into the washing machine after because I felt like he was dirty. Which is hilarious, really.
So plushies have played and play different roles in my life. I don’t think that they are only something for children to have. Stuffed animals often hold a sentimental value and they can most definitely be fun to play with in adult situations as well.
(If you want to see more pictures of this set (me and the plushies!), they will be shared on my OnlyFans account. There is also tons of other content: pictures, photo sets, clips and videos. So go and check it out, and subscribe if you want to see more of me!)