Bondage – Tied Up, Bound and Helplessly Blissful

Bondage for me is more of a lighter form of physical BDSM because it doesn’t involve the strength of impact, painplay in general or even sexual submission. It is slower, sensual, requires patience and sometimes a lot of prior communication.

Bondage as Foreplay and in Scenes

I personally enjoy bondage as foreplay (and then being tied down as part of the scene) the most. While a lot of my scenes are about quick impact, being used or physical struggle, I still enjoy being tied down and giving up total control.

The process of being spread on your back and tied down on a bed, can be so very sensual and exciting. You feel your Dom’s grip as they place the handcuff or rope around your wrist. They test how tight they need to attach the rope for you not to be able to escape. One wrist, another wrist. One ankle, another ankle. You can feel your muscles tensening, you can feel how you are more and more immobilized. And once you can not move anymore, your Dom’s eyes lock into yours and you feel a shudder go through your whole body, a shudder of excitement and fear. There is no way for you to fight this, you have no control over what they will do to your body and mind. That is both a scary and a relieving feeling.

You can struggle all you want, but the less you struggle, the more you go into submission, the more you give up all control, the better this will feel for you. You might get deprived of some of your senses (like with a blindfold), or you might get gagged. But all you have become is a living canvas for your Dom’s wishes to be realized. And that is such a beautiful feeling!

Another way to incorporate bondage into sexual scenes is with different ways to be immobilized and being tied up. You can have your hands tied together behind your back (be aware though, this will hurt your upper arms after if you overdo it), or in front of your stomach. Or my favourite: lying on your back, and your wrists and ankles tied together in front of you. This leaves you spread open and easy to just roll around. There is no escape there, there is no way to actually move much at all. The person you have submitted to, can actually do whatever they want with you.

And yet again, there is the process of getting tied up, the sensuality, the falling deeper and deeper into submission. You can have sex in all different positions when you are tied up like that, there is the possibility of pain play, of sensation play. All you are now is your Dom’s plaything. I actually regret that my Master and I don’t do this too often, as we don’t often plan scenes much. We just go with the flow, which can be passionate and intense. But it also kind of eliminates the nicer moments of foreplay, or actually being tied down with ropes and handcuffs.

Mental Bondage

Mental Bondage, where someone dictates the limits of what you can experience, is actually something I know quite a lot about. My Dom and I have practiced erotic hypnosis in the past. That has left me with some conditioning that can leave me limited in my abilities to enjoy sexual pleasure. It is like being in a cage, caught and tied down to that place, created by the person you allowed to do that to you. And if they so wish, they can expand or limit that space of pleasure. It is as much a control thing, as it is a submission thing for me. The safe word is here just as important as is trust. And hypnosis is something where you really really need to trust someone.

While orgasm control is something that many can practice physically, I can also experience it mentally. If my Dom tells me I can’t come. then I can’t come. Because I have allowed him to condition me into giving him the control over my pleasure. So in this scenario of bondage, of being caught and tied down, my physical being can not do what it wants because my mental being is in submission. I love that he can do that to me, and that it actually feels really awesome too. Not to mention that he can actually make me come on command, meaning that he can expand the sexual space he has put me into, if he so wishes to.

I need to add that all of that is really consensual (people sometimes get iffy about erotic hypnosis for some reason) and is only something we do in the sexual space, and not as frequent as we did in the past either. It is something that actually can make a D/s relationship work long-distance . Or if you are apart from each other for longer periods of time and are unable to physically play with each other. And later you can just make it part of your physical play scenes as well, if you feel like it!

Rope Bunny

I am kind of a rope bunny in the making. Does that sound weird? I love looking at pictures of beautiful rope work, I watched people in suspension at play parties and how they just float in that space of total freedom in captivity. And I am jealous! I really want to feel that too! But as I rarely play with others and I don’t necessarily like anyone touching me unless I really know and trust them, I don’t think I will be able to experience any of that any time soon. Booohoo.

My Dom has learned some rope work through online tutorials and watching others and we actually own ropes! So we have done the odd knot here and there, and I really loved the slowness of it, the sensuality, the slowly slipping into the submissive space. And then staying there. I definitely want to try that more. I am kind of excited that I am only in the beginning of that journey!

Oh, and listen to the “Bondage Song” by London After Midnight, just because!

P.S. None of the pictures are mine, they are from Google.