Perception is tricky. We all have ways in which we want to be perceived, but we can’t really control how others see us. Not when it comes to what we show of ourselves personality-wise, or how much we show of our physical bodies. But we all do love the illusion of control. We want to feel like we can push and tamper, adjust and crop, what little crumpets of ourselves we allow others to perceive in the first place. But it is impossible because everyone has the intelligence to piece everything together into the whole that you’d want to hide. A show of chest and ass, and everyone can guess themselves to what kind of body type you have. Express your opinion on something trivial, or write a piece of fiction? It is easy to draw conclusions about your personality, struggles and personal convictions.
The hiding and the filters, the cautiously put together images of who we are and what we look like, are not really tricking anyone. Only the most ignorant believe that the shiny realities everyone tries to convey to them are a true reflection. The only reason why we still try to control the perception others have of us, is because we need the illusion of control. We don’t want to let go and allow everyone to perceive the flaws that we see in ourselves, in our bodies, in our lives. And that is okay. It shows a lack of body love and confidence, and a fear of vulnerability. We all experience those in different degrees, and that is why we rarely call each other out on it.
I want to tamper, filter, adjust, how the world sees me, constantly. I can’t control other people’s perceptions of me when they look at me. But I can try to make a first impression that is hauntingly intriguing. So that their need to find the depth behind the concepts I have created, will lead to a genuine interest in what the whole is, who I am, and who is behind the art, the words and the looks. I can’t control how I am perceived but I can spark an interest for the true reflection of who I am.