Cuntfusion: My Racial Identity And My Rainbow Cunt

Image from Pixabay

I’ve always been rather confused about my cultural and racial identity. When I look in the mirror, I see a white Caucasian woman. I assume that is what most people see as well when they look at me. My skin tone is light. my haircolour when not dyed is dark blonde. A proper white chick. But the thing is: I am not. I am just the most light-skinned sibling and for a long time I have been bullied for not being white. For a long time, people saw me as brown. And believe it or not, the confusion around my racial identity is these days closely linked to my cunt.

Mixed Race Confusion

Growing up in a German city of just 250 000 people, you stuck out when you weren’t German. And I am not racially or culturally German only. My father is from Iran, and he is very dark-skinned. During summer, when being tanned, you could almost mistake him for someone from Africa, with his curly hair in an afro, too. I might not look the part entirely, but I am just as much Persian as I am German. So growing up, I became “the other” at school.

My last name was Persian, my eyes were brown, and I had the nose, the big Iranian nose. Most people don’t see it at once. If I wouldn’t have told you, you maybe wouldn’t have noticed until now. Persians see it when I meet them on the street. It has happened more than once that total strangers started talking Farsi to me, because they were aware of that I have Persian blood in me. The kids at school saw it. And I got bullied for it.

But I am lucky. My sister and my brother got it worse. They got bullied more. Unfortunately, they got to hear the muslim whore and terrorist slurs. They are dark-skinned, they look more Persian than German. While I don’t look a lot like my German mother, I have her skin tone, and her hair colour.

I never liked the idea of being mixed race. I wanted to have a cultural and racial identity like everyone else. But I didn’t have one. I was in between, for a long time. When I started out in the goth scene, it became easier. The focus was on my light skin. I could style myself in a way that I could push the Iranian side away. And I found more and more ways to do so: Moving to Sweden, I never told anyone that I was half-Iranian. It was a new start. And when I got married, I took on my husband’s last name. It was as Swedish as it could get. I felt white. It felt good.

There are a million reasons why I don’t want to identify as a Persian. Sure, there are the prejudices, the slurs, the otherness when you are living in a predominantly white society. But I think most of it has to do with not having a connection to my father. I don’t want to feel Iranian, because that part comes from my abusive dad.

So here I am, right, thinking I mastered the racial and cultural identity thing. I mean, I am mixed, so I have more options. But I am also always going to be “the other”, if anyone ever finds out I am mixed. As for now, the only Persian thing I embrace is the food. I grew up with Iranian dishes, it was all we ate. And I still love that food. But other than that? Nah. I can speak the language but never do so. I have no Iranians in my life, as I have cut out my dad and his whole family.

The Naked Truth

All is peachy then, eh? I made my decision, most people wouldn’t know about my mixed race anyway. Unless. Unless they saw me naked. My areolas are dark. But after months of research watching Persian porn, going through pictures and comparing shades of colour, I can report that the colour of my areolas can still be placed in the white Caucasian category. Sure, there are Persian women who have my shade of areola colour, but generally, they are darker than mine.

All good then? I can happily live a life of a white Caucasian woman and no one will never know? Nope. Because there is my cunt. My cunt is the one place that pretty much reveals the truth that I rather not think about much: I am racially mixed. White cunts are pink. They are a luscious combination of light reds and shiny pinks. But my cunt? It is mixed. It has shades of light brown, of pink, of red. And in a certain light even dark brown. My cunt has all the colours of the cunt rainbow.

I never knew that, of course. I have always had weird body image issues and it wasn’t up until I sent actual cunt pictures to my partners a few years ago, that I was like: wait a minute, why isn’t my cunt like a white woman’s cunt? It didn’t bother my partner back then. And it doesn’t bother my Master now. He jokingly calls my cunt a rainbow cunt. I am pansexual, I have a multi-coloured cunt. Yes, rainbow cunt! Let’s embrace that!

Only, I can’t. I have for so long identified as a white Caucasian woman, that having a obviously racially mixed cunt, is confusing me. I don’t care what I am supposed to do. Embrace my mixed race, not deny my roots. I decide how I want to see myself. How I want to be seen. And with my abusive dad. pushing away (not denying) my Iranian part, makes me feel better. I don’t identify as Iranian. I don’t identify as mixed. But my cunt, my cunt I can’t just push away because it makes it all too obvious that there is something that just isn’t right.

My rainbow cunt is a reminder of that I can’t really choose my race, or my culture. I can decide what I represent myself as because I identify more with it. But I can’t surgically remove my mixed race. I can’t deny that there is Persian blood in my veins too. And I am lucky that I don’t have to see my cunt every day, or this would probably become a huge anxiety issue for me.

I think being mixed race can be incredibly confusing. You are always the other, you are never really part of one group. And in today’s world that is maybe fun too, because it breaks down barriers. But we all want to feel a cultural identity. if not a racial one.

I have always been fine trying to identify as white and Caucasian. Not because I want to make use of the privilege, but because it made feel better about myself. I could exclude my father from who I am and I felt more whole. But my rainbow cunt is a reminder of that it isn’t as easy as I would want it to be. I am mixed race and however hard I try to represent myself as white, one look under my skirt, and you will know that my racial identity is always going to be a complicated and confusing topic.

And here is a picture of my cunt, in all its rainbowy glory. To be fair, I deleted all pictures where it showed too obvious, but I think this one still does it justice.

racial identity and my cunt
© DeviantSuccubus

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37 Responses

  1. Beautiful, open and honest post, and if I may say, beautiful cunt.

    Rebel xox

  2. Mrs Fever says:

    I haven’t given much thought to skin coloration where the nipples, areola, or vagina are concerned. Not about my own body or about anybody else’s. It makes me wonder…

    You’ve given me something to contemplate, familaly. Like, my sister got all the “dark” genes from our American Indian heritage. Hair, eyes, skin. I got all the Scandanavian features. We look incredibly alike yet not at all the same. I don’t know (or have any interest in knowing) what her covered bits look like, but your post makes me wonder whether those differences appear for her and if so, whether she has any particular feelings about that.

    […pondering…]

    • I usually don’t think about those things much either, but ever since I have seen close up pictures of my vagina, it has kind of been bothering me, In general, I don’t think about my racial identity much either, but others don’t. I look white to most, I look white to myself. But every now and then, there is a vagina picture and it just makes me think.
      I know that my sister struggled with her racial identity lots due to her darker skin. But then, people expect a dark skinned person’s private parts to be dark, but with my light skin, the rainbow-coloured vagina is a bit of a surprise 😛

  3. Sweetgirl says:

    My S2 gets his looks from MrH. We are both white caucasian but where as I am the fair skinned english rose, and I have grey blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. MrH has darker skin, dark chocolate brown eyes and dark brown hair, so dark it looks black (although he has now exchanged a few of them for grey). When they go in the sun they tan quickly and they go dark. S2 has been told many times to ‘go back to where he came from’ and subjected to hurtful comments.

    Hurtful not because we are insulted that people think he is not English – hurtful because these people feel it is ok to be nasty or derogatory at all. I hate that people speak to him with such disrespect and venom.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences Devie,

    Sweetgirl x

    • I am sorry to hear that MrH has to deal with racism because of his darker skinned and dark haired look. It is weird that people just asume race, or heritage, without ever considering that there are so many possibilities why someone looks the way they do!

      • Sweetgirl says:

        I agree especially when our son is treated this way. Why does it matter? We can both trace our family roots in England back for a few hundred years thanks to a few relatives having an interest in building the family tree… but again… why should it matter either way?

  4. I’m a little in awe and shocked at this, in the way people treated ‘foreigners’. I know you were born a lot earlier than I did, and things have changed so much, though perhaps not enough yet in Germany, I’m not sure.

    My family is from Indonesia, but I also pass as Caucasian. I grew up in a time when people are curious about my background and like it, while I know from family that this was different quite a while ago. And I know people from certain countries get a different treatment too, still.

    I have sort of stepped away from my background in the sense that I feel European or like a citizen of the world. I’m just a person like we all are and therefore I don’t think racial identity (unless someone wants to identify with it) (and also different cultures are wonderful) is important.

    It’s interesting how your cunt is the revealer of your racial background. It makes sense, of course. I’m sorry that can become a huge anxiety issue for you. I feel like I wish I didn’t look like my mum because of our relationship so I can only imagine how you must feel about having some of your dad’s roots considering what he has done to you. I’m sorry that makes it so difficult to accept yourself as you are, in some ways.

    And sorry for always leaving these long comments!

    • You know, I often say that I feel more like a citizen of the world. I am mixed race and I actually did the geneaology dna test thing once and I have so many different races in me, I am literally a product of the world (I mean, I even have 4% native American in me, for some reason, and none of my family has ever lived in North America before me lol). I think people look at others from a muslim/arab/Persian background still differently these days. I know here in Canada it is definitely that way. Asians are more welcome for some reason.
      I personally don’t find race or racial background important. It might add something interesting to a person’s looks or life story, but it is not what defines them for me. And I don’t always think of my own background, unless, well, unless I see a picture of my cunt, haha.
      I guess it is about how we perceive ourselves, and not how others perceive us. We need to build our own identities, no matter what our bodies reveal about our backgrounds. Citizens of the world sounds pretty good to me!
      And I love your long and thoughtful comments, keep them coming! <3

      • Haha, I suppose it’s good that you don’t have to look at your cunt for self pleasure and when you’re with your Dom he’s the one who will see it instead of you. I think you’re right, we need to build our own identities and be ok with outselves!

  5. slave sindee says:

    Thank You for a lovely picture of a beautiful Rainbow Cunt.
    i like you are biracial. Mother from England blonde blue eyed and Father from Mexico Dark skinned brown eyes and hair. I grew up in a very white neighborhood and get very dark in summer. So i understand the slurs don’t like them and tolerate them. so i understand my private bits are very dark. My siblings take after my mother’s side of the family.
    We are citizens of the world unfortunately many are judgmental. One side of me says Fuck em.
    i am who i am and i know what i look like and that is ok too
    love your blog and Devious mind

    • I am sorry to hear that you also had to experience racial slurs because you are biracial. The world is not kind to people who look different than others, unfortunately.
      Thanks, Sindee <3

  6. jupitergrant says:

    This is fascinating ; I’ve never really thought about areoles and cunts being a reflection of our racial history, but of course I see now that they are. Beautifully honest and frank post 🌹

  7. May says:

    A terrifically honest post DS and extremely fascinating too. I can totally understand why you are happier not relating to your dads race and what ever colours your cunt shows, all i can say is it looks very pretty and neat to me 😉 x

    • Thanks, May! I think it is odd that my cunt is something that triggers a racial confusion in me, but then, it is also something that will maybe eventually help me embrace my otherness.

  8. Sir Thomas says:

    Thanks DS for a brave post. But from that beautiful photo, please don’t be worried.
    As a male that has dined at more than a hundred beautiful cunts over the years, I can assure you that yours is very normal. The variety of physiology of female genitalia is awesome. From innies, to outies, long labia and rainbows of colours are not unusual. And in recent years, I have to deal with ‘adornments’.

    • Thank you so very much! I think we all have parts of ourselves that we need to learn to embrace, and to take them as they are without putting too much meaning into them. I very much appreciate your thoughtful response!

  9. missy says:

    I know that i am late to this post but it is so interesting. It is a topic that I would not have thought about but for your post so thank you for raising that as an issue. I always look at you and think you seem so exotic and worldly in comparison to me with your ability to speak so many languages and experiences of different cultures but I do understand that school and other areas of society can be cruel. 🙂

    • It is definitely not as bad as it used to be, but when you are mixed, it is confusing because you don’t necessarily fit perfectly into any of the cultures you come from. And while it might be possible to hide part of who you are to fit in, the body and it is racially mixed signs can’t really be ignored. Thanks for reading and your comment, Missy!

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