Being a Sexual Object: Objectification as a Kink
Objectification as a kink in BDSM play or D/s relationships can take many different forms. What they all have in common is that the submissive’s needs and wants do no matter anymore. They become clay in the Dominant’s hands who can do with their body however they please: use it as furniture, something beautiful they display and look at, use it as a sex toy or make it dance in whatever way the Dominant desires. You become an object. The subjective I, the self-awareness linked to human existence, gets put on hold, and instead you are an empty shell that can become anything your Dominant wants.
Objectification, Humiliation and Loss of Control
I think that most forms of objectification have a sort of humiliation factor connected to them. By being deprived of your humanity, and your personal needs becoming unimportant, you are being limited and minimized to what your partner desires you to be. It doesn’t matter what you feel, it doesn’t matter what you want. An object, a thing, doesn’t have needs and wants. It is not human and therefore can be laughed at, degraded, hurt and just played with. In a consensual context, and for someone who has an erotic humiliation or degradation kink, that is extremely arousing.
And then there is also a power exchange happening. As a submissive, you agree to letting your mind take a step back, and allowing the Dominant to do with your body whatever they want. Giving up control can be scary, but with someone that you trust, and that you want to please, it can be very rewarding. And for many submissives, it is paradoxically something that makes them feel free. Free when under control of another person might seem odd, but it really is all about letting go.
Erotic humiliation and giving up control/being controlled are two of my kinks. So objectification is something that we often use during play time. I enjoy the dehumanizing factor of it all, of not being a thinking subject anymore, but just an object that reacts and obeys without restraints. It is like everything that you are is being stripped away, put into a box, and your body belongs to someone else now.
Becoming a sexual object of desire
I must admit that becoming anything but a sexual object is not really a side of this kink that I would enjoy. Becoming a footstool that your Dominant can rest their feet on, or a table that they can eat from? I don’t think that would do anything for me. I’m way too restless for that and would ruin the moment. I can understand why it is something that some submissives feel an urge for though. Becoming an unresponsive, unmoving object under the control of a Dominant sounds quite exciting. Well, to me only in theory, but I am sure some feel the pleasure this promises to give, even in practice.
My submissive title is puppet, that is what my Master addresses me as. Already that has the ring of an object to it. A puppet is not a living thing. It is a beautiful toy that only moves and acts, if its Master plays with it and pulls the strings. I love feeling that way: that he is the one who pulls the strings, the one who can begin and stop any sort of play when he desires to do so.
What I enjoy most is when my body gets objectified in a sexual way. When all I become is sex, when all I am good for is sex. Who I am doesn’t matter. What I want, doesn’t matter. My skills, my dreams, my struggles? None of it matters in that moment. I am a hole to fuck, a cum dumpster, a sex toy. And although it is great to feel that way, it is first when he says it out loud, that it is a real turn on. When he tells me to shut up because fuckholes don’t talk. When he doesn’t acknowledge me and just looks somewhere else while fucking me, because who I am, if I enjoy it or not? It doesn’t matter.
I love when he addresses me as an object. But even more so, when he makes me say it out loud. He can force me to say that I am nothing but a toy to fuck, a fuckhole, that all I am is a plaything for him. Hearing myself saying those things, is a real turn on. I feel degraded, humiliated, and I am pleased that I am a great thing to fuck and play with. It is an interesting sensation: it is like your body is desirable, fuckable, usable. And that can be a very satisfying thought for someone with low confidence or body image issues. The body is desired to a point when it is only sexual. I love when that realization sinks in for me. It makes me want to obey even more, to be even more pleasing. It definitely tickles my submissive side.
Objectification would not work without erotic humiliation for me. It needs to happen in a sexual context, and it has to be linked to the idea of being degraded, with my needs and wants being disregarded. I want to feel like nothing else but a sexual object that can be used, tortured and played with. I understand that others even experience submissive pleasure from being turned into actual objects such as furniture. Objectification can be a lot of things and take a lot of forms. And that is great because it means that there are a lot of different options to choose from when you want to give this kink a go.
Read more about my kinks here.