The End of The World
Why does my heart go on beating?“The End of the World” – Skeeter Davis
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
My life is covered in the thick fog of depression. I am trying but trying is not enough when you are being pulled down by the weight of your own thoughts. My feelings cover all the greys and blacks of the rainbow of despair: sadness, hopelessness, indifference, helplessness, anxiety, guilt. I am trying but trying is not enough.
My body doesn’t want to right now. It might never want to again. My mind doesn’t want to. It might never want to again. I don’t know where the beginning, is, I can’t see the end of it. Logic and emotions are intertwined in a poisonous dance of destruction.
My fingers run over the shelves of pain in the corridors of my mind. Picking the hurt, picking the stabs, the squeezes and pinches that leave me exhausted and drained. The fire is cold, so cold it hurts.
But here I am, trying. Because I don’t know yet. If this is the end of the world.
Depression can be beautiful too.