Tired, oh so tired! – PCOS and Hashimoto’s are a drag!
Hormones. Those buggers! They have a huge influence on how I am doing and what my sexlife looks like. And not only that, they also influence what I look like. I am blessed (*cough*) with two hormonal illnesses: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Hashimoto’s.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
The first time I got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was in my early 20s. I hadn’t had my period for a couple of months and was worried that I might be pregnant. So I went to a gynecologist for the first time in my life. She was pretty decent, and also took some bloodtests to confirm the diagnosis. PCOS has no cure and treatment is often symptom based, or if you want to get pregnant. My symptoms were there but not overwhelming and I definitely didn’t want to get pregnant. So I just left the doctor’s office, not worrying too much.
Unfortunately, as it is with many female reproductive illnesses, you are not believed. Once I moved to Sweden, I went to a doctor because I hadn’t been feeling well and after some weeks of testing, I was yet again diagnosed with PCOS. I mean, now it was clear that I definitely had it, if two doctors diagnosed it. It still felt like I was being questioned. I think the main reason is that many doctors think that women use PCOS as an excuse for their obesity. Well, duh! PCOS makes you fat, it is not like we chose it. Grrr. But, behold, I had to get diagnosed again, every time I had a new gynecologist. So yes, I have PCOS, it has been confirmed 10 to 12 times.
The symptoms of PCOS come and go for me. Sometimes they are more prominent than other times. I have hair in places that women are not supposed to have hair. But I am still better off than many others who struggle with this one badly. I don’t have an issue with not being able to get pregnant because I have never wanted children. The not so regular periods make it more difficult to see if you accidentally got pregnant though, which is a bit worrying. I know that my high sex drive is most likely linked to the higher levels of testosterone in my body.
My biggest issue is the weight. I had been able to get some of it off (60 kg, actually) through daily one hour exercise and eating around 1000 calories a day. If you have PCOS, losing weight is a struggle! But then I got Hashimoto’s and most of that weight returned. I am lucky like that! I have also been told that my diabetes is most likely linked to insulin resistance that PCOS can cause. So that is a bummer!
The Monthly Flow Of Yucky
My periods are the biggest bummer though. I have PMS to the extent that I am sometimes wondering if it is PMDD. Two to three weeks of the month, I am kind of out of sorts and the closer I get to my period, the weirder it gets. Heart rate going weird. Hot flashes. Dizzyness. Horrible headaches. Tiredness. Feeling like I am getting the flu. Emotional instability (and boy, I already have enough of that!). But then, two days before my period, I am getting overly horny. I could fuck non-stop during those 48 hours. And then, once my period is over, I have about two days of no sex drive at all. And of course that affects my sex life!
I don’t know how it is for most people, but period sex is kind of icky. It just takes a lot of effort and preparation, and I always somehow feel dirty. And not in a good way! But penetration definitely helps for the cramps! I am one of the unlucky ones who has a heavy flow and it lasts for five to six days. It is all just some yucky business that I rather not have every month! I mean, I can’t even get pregnant, so the heck, universe?
In 2014, I also got diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroidism. I had been feeling sluggish and dizzy for a longer while. And I had been gaining weight. I thought most of those symptoms came from the psychiatric medication I was taking but once I had been off of them, the symptoms persisted. I was so tired! The doctor did some general tests, then some more specific bloodwork and they also did a scan of my thyroid. Apparently I had a huge amount of thyroid antibodies in my system, meaning that my body is attacking my thyroid. Hashimoto’s is a chronic auto immune disorder which leads to hypothyrodism. Your thyroid doesn’t function anymore. The only real treatment that you can get are thyroid hormones. I have to take a pill every morning so my metabolism is somewhat working.
Unfortunately, Hashimoto’s has a ton of symptoms, hundreds of possible complications and the only thing that is treated is the lack of thyroid hormones in your bloodstream. Sad but true, not a lot of progress has been made in the treatment of the illness. Yet again, one of the main symptoms is being overweight and an inability to keep your weight under control. It makes sense though, your metabolism doesn’t work properly so you don’t burn calories as effectively. Due to my diabetes, I eat very healthily, and I also eat only around 1500 calories a day. Still, I am fat. When people fat-shame others, they should really think about that there are illnesses that cause obesity. I have two of them!
Hashimoto’s doesn’t really affect my sex life as much. I have zero energy in the mornings, and it is first about an hour after I have taken my medication, that I am somewhat functioning enough to even do the simplest things. So morning sex is out of the question. I also don’t have huge amounts of stamina, so an hour of play and sex is what I can handle at most.
Hormonal illnesses are a drag. They are chronic and they affect your body’s ability to function. And with that, they also affect your sex life, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. But one thing is for sure. They make you tired. Oh so tired.