Erotic humiliation or erotic degradation is something that I very much enjoy. In all of the D/s relationships I have been in so far, it has been as much part of our sexlife as painplay and giving up control. Erotic humiliation is for me a kind of umbrella term for a lot of practices and kinks, differing in severity. What might seem like humiliation to one person, might be something to shrug off for someone else. Erotic humiliation is personal and it is about how the person receiving, and the person giving it, feel. In my opinion, there is not one practice that is representative for erotic humiliation.
How I found out about Erotic Humiliation
The first time I learnt about erotic humiliation was through porn. I had been watching BDSM related movies for a while. But I couldn’t connect to the slowness of it, the long focus on spanking, flogging, tying someone down. I needed to see something that was naughty, dirty, flexible and also involved pain. That is how I found the videos on public humiliation or public disgrace. They very much involved the element of BDSM and a D/s dynamics, but at the same time, it was a different kind of sex. It was dirtier, it was more intense, it was raw and brutal. One of my fantasies is still to be publically humiliated and used. I don’t have any urge to make that fantasy into a reality. But it is definitely something that is involved in the stories that play in my mind when I masturbate.
So when I started to engage in a D/s relationship, it wasn’t the protocols or the strong sense of submission that I was after. I wanted to be used, degraded, made into a thing to be used and poked.
What have I tried out so far?
Before I start talking about what kind of things I have done so far, let me talk about something important first. Just like any other type of sexual play, erotic humiliation needs to built upon consent. It is in the framework that I have discussed with the Dom I am playing with, that it is okay to humiliate me. The things that happen within that framework are enjoyable for everyone involved. Outside of that framework, I would feel abused, offended and definitely unhappy if anyone would say or do those things to me.
Name-Calling and Use of Language
There are certain things that are a huge turn on for me, and one of those things is the language that is used during play. And the use of language can be very degrading and humiliating, depending on how you are being addressed or what adjectives are being used to describe you. I love being called a slut, a bitch, a whore, fuckmeat, toy, cunt, hole or fuckhole. At times, there is nothing better than someone pulling my hair, slapping my face, calling me a needy whore and facefucking me. And adjectives! Being called dirty, naughty, disgusting, needy or horny is a turn on for me. For some this might already be too much. Others might actually use that sort of language during play and have never deemed it as erotic humiliation. But for me, language is one of the strongest tools to humiliate me.
Behaviour and Demeanor
This also includes language but it is not only about how you are being addressed. A lot of times, I find it humiliating and a turn on when certain things are pointed out to me. Something like “You are such a needy whore, I can smell your wet cunt from here, you disgusting slut” is absolutely a turn on for me! Another thing I like is when I am being laughed at for being needy or easy. When I beg for more pain, more orgasms, more penetration. And all my Master does is laugh at me for being in a position where all I am is sex. nothing else. It could be a look of disapproval, a smack with the tongue, a roll with the eyes. Anything that makes me feel inferior, and well, yes, degraded and humiliated.
There are so many different ways of doing pissplay and I have definitely not tried out enough of them! I think one of the things that I find most degrading is being pissed on. There was this one instant when an ex partner was in the shower with me, turned off the water, made me kneel in front of him and he pissed all over my face, my tits, my body. And for some odd reason, it made me feel absolutely horny! He then pushed his cock inside my mouth and facefucked me before coming all over me. Oh the glory of humiliation!
I have been made to drink my own pee as well. That was such an intense experience. Not the drinking in itself (that was kind of yucky, haha), but being pushed into such a place of complete degradation, that I drank my own pee. The hot thing about it was, that there was no physical coercion! It all happened through words and mind-fuck!
I don’t think there is a doubt about that being used for another person’s pleasure is one of the most arousing scenarios for me. Being facefucked, consensual non-consensual, always being available. surprise sex/rape play, sleepy sex. Rough brutal fucks where it seems like there is no regard for my well-being, because I am being minimized to being a toy, a plaything, nothing else than that. I love being told to lay still and just take it. to have orgasms mainly for my Master’s pleasure (forced orgasms!) or when I am not allowed to come, and the focus is only on him finishing.
There are a few things that I actually thought worked really well when it comes to erotic humiliation but they don’t fit any of the other categories that I mentioned. One thing is to have someone write degrading things on my body, or someone making me do it to myself. It could be “fuckhole” and an arrow pointing to my cunt. Or “whore” all over my breasts. Lipstick works really well for this. do not use markers (should be a no-brainer, but I thought I better mention it!). My Master enjoys flipping my nose when I am unable to move. For some reason, that makes feel very humiliated, and frustrated! He also enjoys pushing his toes inside my cunt or rubbing my clit with them when I can’t move. Ugh. I don’t like that, but also like it Confusing!
There are certain things that don’t do anything for me humiliation wise or that trigger me. Scat and vomit are hard limits for me in all play. I don’t like certain adjectives like fat or pathetic. And I dislike being called animal names: pig or cow would most likely be triggering for me. I know that some people enjoy wearing pig masks and then being degraded or humiliated but I doubt that would be arousing for me.
How does erotic humiliation make me feel?
A lot of people might not be able to relate to being sexually aroused by degradation or humiliation. I can understand that. Generally, people like the idea of respect and also self-respect. I want to feel respected too! And I think that healthy levels of self-respect are important. But sometimes I want to leave those concepts outside the door. Instead I want raw, brutal sex. I want to feel used, I want to feel degraded, and I want to feel like that all I am is an objectified slut.
Erotic humiliation makes me feel little and minimized. It makes me feel like I am good for sex, for being pissed on, played with and made fun of. It makes me feel sexy. It makes me feel like all I am is sex, a thing, a cunt, and nothing else about me matters.
It makes me embrace parts of me that I am otherwise ashamed of. Yes, I am a slut. I am horny and needy and I like being useful and pleasing to others. All those things, I can accept about myself during humiliation play. Outside of it, it is another story. That is the important thing for me when it comes to erotic humiliation: it is something I do in the bedroom. In all other aspects of life I would not accept that anyone treated me in a degrading or humiliating manner.
You can read about one of my experiences of erotic humiliation/degradation here.