30 Days of Submission – Day 2: Who gets my submission?
Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?
My submission is something that needs to be earned. That might sound arrogant and not very submissive, but honestly, I feel that being in any kind of D/s dynamics needs to be about trust and safety. So the times I have been able to submit to someone, it was always with someone who I had known for a while, who was supportive, who knew about my struggles and my talents, who knew who I was. I needed a connection that first and foremost worked through the mind. There was a friendship first, a safety bubble that we existed together in. And it was okay that it took time to get there.
So far I have been in serious relationships with two Doms and both times, I was the one chasing them! Being hit on, or getting a lot of compliments, is not a turn for me, it makes someone uninteresting to me. I need the challenge to get someone to be interested in me. I like to flirt, to laugh, to joke, to poke. So who is most likely to get my submission? Someone who interests me, and who I already have a strong connection with before anything play-related is even discussed. I love to be bratty (well, of course, I am a brat, after all) and to trigger the Dom to want to make me submit. There is nothing better than fighting for power for a while before being manipulated or forced into submission!
I am generally more attracted to those who are self-confident, educated, intelligent and open-minded. I don’t have a specific body-type that I am interested in. Gender-wise it is men that I submit to. I go for the sadists, Masters and Daddys. I am not very interested in pure Disciplinarians, nor Service Doms.
The space that I am definitely submissive in, is the bedroom. Once you have my trust, it is really easy to get me to submit (after some fighting and poking, naturally!) sexually. And I love being submissive sexually! So far I have only been submissive in committed relationships, although I am interested to be submissive with Doms in play scenes at events, and also sexually. I am polamorous and do not need a committed relationship with someone to be submissive with them, I believe. But there is the trust thing! I wouldn’t be able to just randomly agree to a scene with someone, or hook up with anyone. It would have to be something negoitated, something that has been planned, with someone that I have known for a while. I know, I sound complicated, but it takes me a while to get comfortable with someone, and I am aware that a lot of people do pick-up-play, but I am different. And it needs to feel okay for me, right?
In my current relationship, the D/s dynamics has definitely expanded to other areas of our lives, and we are currently working out how much of a 24/7 dynamics we are able to implement. As we are usually more spontanerous in our approaches, and don’t have any rituals that we follow, we are basically going to make our connection more structured, with rules and punishments. In my previous relationship, there was some D/s going on outside the bedroom as well, so I am not totally new to the idea of it.
I must admit that I wished that I was more open to submit to playpartners and in scenes with others. I am interested in it, and I am quite jealous to see people play with each other at parties. But I am also aware that I would not be able to let go just like that, and that means that it wouldn’t be enjoyable for me.
I am doing the 30 Days of Submission meme/challenge. If you are interested in doing it too, check out this link which has all the questions ready to be used!
Read my other posts of the series here.