We had been discussing this for a while. because I knew that he had been doing it in previous relationships. He just wanted to make sure that I was ready and that there was enough trust between us. So tonight, after lengthy discussions on consent, after all my questions had been answered and I felt safe knowing what was to come, tonight was the night. I wasn’t even sure if it was going to work, if I could go that deep into my mind. Just the thought of him having that kind of control over my body and mind, aroused me. His power over me made me feel safe, and free. How much power would I be able to allow him? How much power did he already have? Was my mind easily manipulated?
I walked into our livingroom. The light was dimmed and he was sitting in the big armchair we had bought at the flea market last year. He got up and took my hand, guided me to the sofa. I wanted to take my clothes off but he stopped me. I gave him a confused look. “I don’t need to be naked?” – “No, girl, your mind is going to get undressed today, not your body.” . I smiled.
A candle was standing in front of me on the table. I watched him light it, and blow out the match. The air was filled with the remaining smoke of the burning wood and the sweet smell of the hot wax in front of me. I was looking into the flickering light of the flame, following its movements and feelings its warmth. I heard him sit down in the armchair again. Then, silence. I was captivated by the candle’s source of light, while waiting for things to start. “Isn’t candlelight a beautiful thing?, he said in a soft voice. “It reminds me so very much of our first dinner, when we were at that restaurant down on 6th Avenue. That was such a lovely night, we connected so well.” I nodded. It was the best date I had ever been on. I blushed just thinking about how much I wanted him already then.
“Are you feeling okay, girl?”, he asked. “Yes, Master”, I whispered. “Do you still want this?”. “Yes, Master”. He cleared his throat.
“Let’s breathe a bit together, shall we? Just lean back, and listen to my voice. This is just breathing. You and me.” I leaned back, still looking at the candle, the brightest most active point of the room.
“Breathe in deep. Hold it. Breathe out.”
“Breathe in deep. Hold it. Breathe out.”
“Breathe in deep. Hold it. Breathe out.”
“You can feel your chest going up and down with each breath. You can feel your stomach move up and down with each breath.”
Silence. I could hear him breathe like I was breathing now. We were breathing together, we were one in this moment. I felt calm, I felt safe.
“Your body is relaxing. Your mind is calm. I will count to five now. And with each number, your body is more relaxed, your mind is more at ease. With each number, you will fall deeper into the space of relaxation and safety. It is okay to lie down. It is okay to close your eyes.”
“Your body is relaxed and you can feel it getting heavier”
My body started to feel heavy, I was incredibly relaxed, not sleepy, but a strong serene feeling was going through my body and mind.
“You arms and legs are so heavy now, you want to lie down.”
I couldn’t sit up anymore. I moved my body slightly to the side and let myself slowly fall backwards onto the sofa. My legs were stretched, my arms felt like they had suddenly been turned into heavy metal.
“You are going deeper and deeper into your mind and the sensations of your body. What is around you is not important anymore. You can feel goosebumps on your whole body, excitement.”
I shivered as the goosebumps were travelling over my skin everywhere. I was starting to feel floaty. All I could focus on was my body, the safety of my own mind, and his voice.
“Your eyelids are getting heavier now. You can’t keep your eyes open anymore. You want your eyes closed. It is safe to close your eyes.”
I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. It was like some invisible force pushed them to close. For a second I tried to fight it. But why fight it? I wanted this, I wanted to feel like this. This felt amazing, my body was reacting to his words! I breathed out and relaxed even more.
“You fall deeper and deeper. All there is now is my voice, your body and your mind. We are together. Deeper and deeper. Relaxed, safe, calm. Deep.”
I fell. I fell deep into trance. I could hear him. My mind was open and free. And he was walking through my internal wonderland together with me. Calm and relaxed. My eyes were closed.
“Your left arm is feeling so heavy right now, you can’t lift it. It is so heavy, it feels like glued to the sofa.”
I felt my left arm suddenly sinking into the sofa. It was so heavy. I tried to lift it but I couldn’t. “Oh!”, I exclaimed. I let go. He was in control of my body and my mind now. And it felt safe. Silence. I heard him breathe. Then he started speaking, in a soft and calm voice.
“Now imagine that we are in a cabin in the woods. It is late afternoon, and you can hear the birds singing. The windows are open and you can look outside at the lush greenery. There are trees, there is grass, there are flowers on the ground. Beautiful, colourful flowers. It smells like summer. What does it exactly smell like?”
“It smells like bees smell like, like summer flowers, like it smells after a summery rainshower”, I whispered.
“Inside the cabin is a bed. One of those Victorian beds with the bedposts all the way up to the ceiling, exactly like you like them. The sheets are velvety but light. The floor is wooden, the walls are covered in beautiful paintings and ornaments. You look around and at the other side of the cabin, you see a door. A big door. What does the door look like?”
“It is blue. It is a blue door with a green wooden knob.”, I was looking at the door.
“This is your door. This is your way out. If you don’t like what is going on, you go to that door, open it and walk out. The door is your safe way out, it is your safeword right now. You are in control if and when to open this door. Do you understand?”
“My safe door.”, I nodded.
“You are naked and you can feel the warmth of the summer air on your body. You walk over to the bed and you can feel the soft sheets touch your bare skin. “
I felt naked. I felt the summer air on my body. I could feel the sheets touch my skin. How was that possible? Wasn’t I wearing clothes just ten minutes ago? He sensed my confusion.
“Relax girl, this is safe. Your body is reacting to my words. Our minds are creating sensations together. Your skin is feeling what I want it to feel now, what you want me to make it feel.”
I breathed out. I felt my skin touching the sheets and it felt nice.
“I am walking over to you now, to the bed. I am looking at you, I am looking at your beautiful body. Your wonderful curves. Your hard nipples, your cute feet.”
I smiled. I felt my nipples harden.
“You can feel my finger following your jawline, going down your chest, and slowly approaching your nipple. You can feel the soft touch, the slight pressure on your skin.”
I gasped. I was definitely aroused now. I could feel his fingers on me, I could feel my need for him grow.
“I am pulling your nipple now. Hard. I squeeze it, I pull it, I pull it up so hard that you can feel the pain throughout your whole body!”
I arched my back. My nipple hurt and I squealed. I could feel my whole body react to his words. It hurt. It was nice. I wanted more. Now. I needed more. I moaned.
“Both my hands are now touching you, everywhere. Gently, sometimes squeezing. Your skin reacts, your body reacts. You are aroused now. You feel your clit pulsating. You feel your cunt getting wet. You want me to touch you. You need me to touch you.”
I was lost. My body was a slave to his words now. I started moving my body. I clenched my cunt, I arched my back even more. I needed him, yes!
“Are you alright, girl?”
“Yes, Master”, I moaned. The sheets of the bed still felt soft on my back. The air was still filled with a scent of rain and flowers. I was naked, although my body was clothed.
“My fingers open your cunt lips now. Mmm, the smell of your wetness is strong. You can feel my finger circling your clit. Now rubbing it, almost squeezing it. It is swelling, it is growing. All you are now is horniness. You want me to make you come. You can feel it building up.”
Yes, yes! Oh God. I could feel his touch on my cunt. My legs were spread now. My cunt pushed up into the air. Oh God. How was he doing this? I needed him to make me come! I gasped for air. I was horny. I was randy. I wanted this. I wanted him. I needed to come so bad.
“Two fingers on you clit, squeezing and rubbing it. Two fingers in your cunt now. You feel how your cunt is filled with them, you feel them going in and out. Another finger circling your butthole, you feel yourself relaxing even more. You want to come so bad.”
I moaned and moved my hips rhythmically as I could feel being fucked by his fingers, my clit being squeezed and rubbed. I need to come!
“Now both your cunthole and your butthole are filled with my fingers. You feel the pressure building up. Your clit is so swollen now, it almost hurts. You need to come now. You need to come. But you can’t yet. Wait for my permission. Do you hear me, girl?
“Yes, Master!”, I almost yelled.
“On the count of three you will come!”
“Three. Come for me, girl!”
And I came! My whole body twitched, my cunt was going through spasms and I screamed. What a build up, what an orgasm! I was both relieved and confused. He didn’t even touch me, he didn’t make me touch myself, and still, I had an orgasm!
“Good girl! Whenever you are ready, you can walk to the door, open it and wake up. You feel relaxed now. You are still safe. Your body feels nice and calm.”
I slowly walked to the door and opened it. I could open my eyes again. I cleared my throat and tried to sit up. I turned my head into his direction, and watched him walk over to me. He helped me sit up, sat down next to me. My head resting on his shoulder, we both got lost in the candle’s flame together. We were now closer than ever. Our minds were just as connected as our bodies had always been.
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