30 Days of Submission – Day 5: D/s relationships
Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?
Aye and yes, I am in a Dominant/submissive relationship and I have also been in another one before this one. Well, actually, I was in the two at the same time. I am not sure why I always overcomplicate things, haha! I am polyamorous and at one point I was in two D/s relationships at the same time. Unfortunately that didn’t work out in the long run, for various reasons, with jealousy and the need for comparison being very prominent candidates for the main cause of the break up.
The relationship with my previous boyfriend was a peculiar one. It was passionate and lustful, but also painful at times because there were so many differences between us.. We naturally went into a D/s dynamics without defining it as one for a long time. When we finally tried to figure things out, all those terms made very much sense to us. Our relationship was very on and off, sometimes committed, sometimes not. The sex was absolutely amazing though. We had fantastic angry-sex (I so need to write a post on angry sex one day!) and when we delved more into the D/s and BDSM side of things, it was very obvious that the Daddy/babygirl – dynamics would be the best fit for us.
He is younger than me so it might seem a tad odd, but it just really clicked that way. He had a very firey nature but was also extremely good at making me feel safe and taking care of me. Apart from the Daddy/babygirl-dynamics, we also played around with degradation a lot. He really made me lose it sexually and pushed me into places that I never knew were even possible for me. Our relationship and the D/s dynamics we had, was really good, and I still miss it, and him, sometimes. But the trust between us was broken, and there sometimes were instances when things got pushed a little bit too far. It is important to always communicate, and we did, but polyamory is not for everyone, and that is okay.
My current relationship is quite different from my previous D/s relationship. Well, for a bit more than six months , I was actually in both relationships at the same time. My current relationship started off as something not very committed, it was more of a friends with benefits situation but it eventually evolved into something more. We have this safety bubble with each other, and however bad things sometimes can get (like in any relationship, really), we have that safe space with each other. I never trusted anyone in my life more than I trust him.
While he is not a Daddy Dom in the traditional sense, he is a caretaker Dom and I very much am happily dependent on his support. He is older than me, which makes me feel like I can trust his guidance. I feel safe enough with him to explore a 24/7 D/s relationship, because our connection is mature and honest. Sexually, things are absolutely amazing! We have the same kind of level of high libido, so we basically have sex every day, often more than once. I am his puppet sexually and it feels very freeing to let go with him. He is a sadist so we do a lot of pain play, but also play with control and being used. We are polyamorous but are not actively looking for additional partners.
What makes my current relationship so unique, in my eyes, is that we have so many connections on so many different levels: intellectually, emotionally, sexually. There is an acceptance of each other, an honesty and a very deep communication. The layers of what we have with each other are many, and however much my world sometimes falls apart, in his arms, I am safe and can breathe out.
I am doing the 30 Days of Submission meme/challenge. If you are interested in doing it too, check out this link which has all the questions ready to be used!